Speak hastily
Parents do not know themselves, so they are unable to hold back when talking to children in unfavorable conditions
Parents forget if each child is unique
The needs and wishes of each child are different
Do not read children's body language
Don't hear children's feelings
Less active listening
Speak using '12 popular styles' which weakens the child's mentality:
@ govern
@ blame
@ disdain
@ comparing
@ stamp / label
@ threatening
@ advise not on the place
@ lied
@ entertaining
@critical
@ quips
@ analyze in inappropriate situations
Mistakes in parenting and communication make children become BLAST people:
Boring (bored)
Lonely (lonely)
Angry (anger / revenge)
Stress
Tired (tired)
So that the purse of his heart is empty. And finally run away from the wrong activities: trapped in wrong relationships, smoking, alcohol, drugs, addicted to pornography, dating that easily crosses the line and other deviant behaviors.
Pornography producers are keen to see this opportunity, especially in digital times like this with easy access, anywhere, anytime and by anyone.
Who is the main target of pornography producers?
There are 3 main targets:
Boys. Why?
@ the male brain is more dominant left, so it's easy to focus on something
@ brain fluids / more sex hormones in the male brain
@ the male genitals outside become easily stimulated
And when it's getting older a boy is addicted to pornography, he will become a customer of porn products all his life as well as with girls. How many daughters are damaged because they hang out with broken boys.
Children who have not been hired.
Children who have not baligh part of their brain have not been formed completely especially those related to character, judging good and bad, making decisions. If children who have not been exposed to pornography, it will be more quickly addicted. And if you are addicted it will be very difficult to control her sexual desire.
Mrs. Elly gave an example of a case of children who are sexually addicted to pornography, such as 8 boys who have similar sex under a neighbor's hajatan tent, elementary school children who are addicted to masturbation every day, elementary school children who have sex like each other like om- om, an 8-year-old boy who sodomized his 5-year-old cousin sister, etc.
It really happened around us!
Children who are 3S, namely:
@ Smart (the kid is smarter than us)
@ Sensitive (children are easily sensitive if we apply the 'mistake in communicating')
@ Spiritual specifically worship only (children only know that religion is only a ritual worship: prayer, fasting, etc. without knowing its essence. The teacher is not present to give a good religious understanding to his child)
What do pornographic producers want for our children?
What they want is:
@ Our children and adolescents have pornographic libraries (mental porn models that can be accessed anytime and anywhere)
@ Permanent brain damage, which makes our children no longer able to distinguish bad good, inappropriate inappropriate.
@ Finally become a pornography customer for life.
Where can our child be exposed to pornography?
@ Film
Many pornographic films that are watched by our children, for example Glee (there are inserts on similar sex campaigns), then I remember Harry Potter 7, Twiligth, Alvin & chipmunks, Naruto cartoons, one piece, Disney cartoons, etc.
@ Video clip
Many sordid video clips that circulate are known to our children, can be easily accessed on social media, youtube, etc. Be very careful with our children's singer idols who are very examples of their lifestyle and style.
Mrs. Elly also gave examples of cases of kindergarten, elementary and junior high school students who imitated scenes in video clips such as kindergarten children who play buttocks, middle school children who have sex on a motorbike with their boyfriends, etc.
@ Social Media (Line, IG, Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, etc.)
They can share site links / porn videos, talk / chat lead porn, sexting, send send sexy / nude selfies, emoticons, LGBT, etc.
@ Gadgets / Mobile / Smartphone
Children already have sophisticated smartphones when they cannot be responsible for using them. Parents who facilitate do not even know how to open applications / features. The child's cellphone is in the password and we are calm with it even though we don't know what our children are open, chat with anyone, etc.
@ Comics
Many comics that book and online contain pornography and are easily accessible to children on their mobile phones at low prices. Like Naruto, One Piece, Yugi Oh, even Conan also has the element of pornography.
@ Games
There are also many games that contain violence and pornography such as Sims 4, GTA 5, Clash of Kings, there are even games for toddlers that also contain pornography
@ Novel / short story
There are also many love novels that our children read without us knowing, whether books or digital contain pornographic elements. Although there is no picture, but the words can make children curious and want to find out. Girls are more exposed to pornography through this media.
Characteristics of pornography addiction:
Confine yourself and spend time with games and internet in the room
When reprimanded and limit playing gadgets: he is angry, opposes, says harshly and cruelly
Start impulsively, lie, dirty and steal
Difficult to concentrate
Declining academic achievement
If speaking, avoid eye contact
Shame is not in place
Blame others
Play with certain groups only
Missing empathy, what you want must be followed right away.
Pornography patterns damage the brain:
Didn't accidentally see ?? disgusted but curious ?? want to see again / find out ?? dopamine release in the brain, likes, disgusts ?? want to see again ?? addicted ?? the level of pornography increases ?? carrying out pornography (free sex, LGBT, other sexual deviations). They could no longer hold back their sexual and sexual desire. Because it's not ashamed to do it at school, on the road, etc.
Facts of sexual deviation cases, pornography in East Kalimantan:
In 2014 there were 17 cases and in 2015 it increased to 95 cases. And Samarinda is the 1st most.
Steps to becoming a therapist for your own child exposed to pornography:
Relax, don't panic
Consult with a partner
Be aware that children are God's mandate and we will be held accountable not others
Fertilize closeness with God, in terms of quality and quantity worship
Thank our child, don't be angry, forgive him and consult with him
Improve communication
Our maximum role as true father and mother for our child
Good communication methods for children:
@ be calm
@ lower the voice tension
@ read his body language
@ guess her feelings, and agree to her feelings
@ hear the emotional spill, let it flow
The essence of prevention and control of pornography addiction at:
@ Communication patterns of children and parents.
@ The maximum role of Father and Mother, we can't wait until our child is orphaned even though his mother's father is still alive
@Mrs. Elly emphasized Father's role in parenting.
Research results: no father figure causes boys to become trapped in drugs, aggressive, free sex and juvenile delinquency. While in girls it becomes easily depressed and entangled in free sex.
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